Grief Support
Losing someone you love is the hardest thing we do in life. I matters not whether it is a grandparent, parent, friend, relative, child or pet...the pain can be gut wrenching. We all go through it...but many folks do not know how to deal with our pain...they would rather not even talk about it very often. It's an uncomfortable subject for many...yet it is a natural part of life.
If you have lost someone close to you recently, we offer grief support. We have an online live chat (please click Links to access CrossingOver2 in Buzzen chat) that meets every Friday and Saturday nights at 7pm Pacific, 9pm Central, and 10pm Eastern time. People gather in the "room" to share their grief, provide an ear to someone, and to help lift each other up.
We are also available via email. You may email Featherwind at judith888@gmail.com
Or you may email Petz at
petzri3@yahoo.com
We believe that we do not die...that we live on...eternally. We believe our loved ones who pass, are with us often and know what goes on in our lives. We have had constant validations to support these beliefs. We are both mediums, and have brought through hundreds of folks who have passed and yes, animals too. We are mediums...in the middle...acting as a go between between the Other Side and this side. Connecting with someone dear to you who has passed, can provide a life changing experience. But it is not a cure for grief. It is simply an avenue to provide a sense of peace knowing they are still around us, even though not in a physical body.
The 7 Stages of Grief...
1. SHOCK & DENIAL
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief.
You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain.
Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once.
This may last for weeks.
2. PAIN & GUILT
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain.
Although excruciating and almost unbearable,
it is important that you experience the pain fully,
and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things
you did or didn't do with your loved one.
Life can feel chaotic and scary during this phase.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out
and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else.
Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result.
This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?"
You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be
for a way out of your despair
("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")
4. DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, & LONELINESS
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life,
a long period of sad reflection will likely overcome you.
This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders.
Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss,
and it depresses you.
You may isolate yourself on purpose,
reflect on things you did with your lost one,
and focus on memories of the past.
You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
5. THE UPWARD TURN
As you start to adjust to life without your loved one,
your life becomes a little calmer and more organized.
Your physical symptoms lessen,
and your depression begins to lift slightly.
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again,
and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions
to problems posed by life without your loved one.
You will start to work on practical and financial problems
and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model,
you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation.
Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness.
Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced,
you can never return to the carefree, untroubled you that existed before this tragedy.
You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future.
Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain...
sadness, yes... but the wrenching pain will be gone.
You will once again anticipate some good times to come,
even find joy again in the experience of living.
